Chapter 3 | Preparations for the Trial | Featherland

And a fine job those preparations were. It was all in vain that a meeting was held, and the perch taken; everybody wanted to talk at once, and, what was worse still, everybody did talk at once, and made such a clatter, that Tom, the gardener’s boy, threw his birch-broom up in the cedar-tree, and then had his ears boxed because it did not come down again, but lay across two boughs ever so high up and out of reach, to the great annoyance of Mrs Turtledove, a nervous lady of very mournful habit.

The birch-broom scattered the birds for a while, but they soon came back, for they were not going to be frightened away by a bundle of twigs, when they did not even care for a scarecrow, but used to go and sit upon its head; while the tomtit declared it was a capital spider trap, and used to pick out no end of savoury little spinners for his dinner.

When the birds had all settled again, they went to business in a quieter way, for they did not wish to be again driven off in such a sweeping manner; so at last they decided that the owl should be judge, because he looked big and imposing.

“Oh!” said Specklems the starling, “but he’s so sleepy and chuckleheaded.”

“All the better, my dear sir,” said the magpie, who had come back on hearing the news of the capture; “all the better, my dear sir, for you know you will be for the prosecution, and then, with a highly respectable jury, we shall get on capitally; in fact, hardly want any judge at all, only to keep up appearances.”

“Whew, whoo, whistlerustle,” away they went, and settled in a cloud on the top of the old ivied house, and round about the owl’s nest—birds of all colours, sorts, and sizes; long tails and short tails; long bills and short bills; worm-workers, grub-grinders, bud-biters, snail-crushers, seed-snappers, berry-bringers, fruit-finders, all kinds of birds—to fetch Judge Owl to sit at the court, to try the foreign thief, who had made such a commotion, trouble, bother, worry, and disturbance; and kicked up such a dust, such a shindy, such a hobble, as had never before been known in Featherland.

“Hallo! here, Shoutnight; hallo! wake up; anybody at home?” said the magpie, holding his head very much on one side, and peeping with one eye at a time into the snug place where the fuzzy old gentleman used to bring his mice home. “Hallo! here,” he continued, throwing in a small lump of mortar, which woke up the owl with a start.

“Who-hoo-hoo-hoo?” shouted the master of the house.

“Who-who tu-who-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo?” shouted the mistress.

“Ciss-s-s—phistle—phut-snap,” chorused the juveniles, who had been disturbed by their mamma, treading upon one, scratching another on the side of the head, and giving number three such a crack with her wing that the little fellow was knocked out of the nest into an old sooty part of the chimney, and came back such a little guy that his mother hardly knew him.

“Who-who-oo-oo-oo?” said the owl again.

“‘Who? who? who?’ why, whom do you suppose, but all your cousins of Featherland, come to give you a call?” said the magpie.

Whereupon the old gentleman came forth in a very dignified way, with his wife’s spectacles on his nose, and then, because he could not see a bit, stood winking and blinking and nodding his great head, and bowing, and sticking up his feathers, like a stupid old turkey-cock, till he looked so majestic and imposing, that it was decided at once that he must come into the cedar and try the foreigner, who would not have a chance to get off with such a judge before him.

Off went the owl with a heavy flap-flap, and across the garden to where the great cedar stood; and away went the birds with such a flutter, rustle, and bustle, that the whole air whistled again as they swept away.

“Now, then, bolster-brains,” said the starling to the jackdaw, “why, you’ve been asleep!” And there, sure enough, had sat the daw with his head in his pocket, and one leg put away for the present until he wanted it again.

“Asleep! nonsense!” said the daw. “Pooh—tchah! who ever heard of such a thing? Only thinking, my dear sir—only thinking; and I think so much better with my eyes shut and the light shaded from them.”

“Why, you depraved descendant of a corvine ancestor; you grey-headed old miscreant,” exclaimed the blackbird, who had been to look at the prisoner, “what have you done with the foreigner?”

“Done,” said the daw, “done with the foreigner! No, of course I have not done with the foreigner, any more than the rest of the company have.”

“But where is he?” chorused several birds; “where is he?”

“Ah!” said Judge Shoutnight, “who-oo-oo—ere’s the prisoner?”

Over the hills and far away, with voice cleared by sucking the little birds’ eggs, and crying “Cuckoo,” till the far-off woods rang back the echo from their golden green sides; and still on and on flew the sweet-voiced bird, crying that summer had come again with its hedge-side flowers and sweet-scented gales, bonny meadows, golden with the glossy buttercups, while nodding cowslips peeped from their verdant beds. “Cuckoo!” cried the bird, and away he flew again over the rich green pasture, where the lowing cows lazily browsed amongst the rich cream-giving grass, or crouched in their fresh, sweet banqueting-hall, and idly ruminated with half-shut eyes, flapping their great widespread ears to get rid of some early fly. And, still rejoicing in his liberty, the bird cried “Cuckoo! cuckoo!” over vale and lea.